Mother effin' Ruskies. You don't have to be savvy or well connected with Eastern European military intelligence to know who's being the bigger asshole here. It's not impossible that the South Ossetians really were shelling the fuck out of Georgian civilians, but even then it's pretty unlikely that the Georgians were actually committing genocide against the South Ossetians (though the Russians do know genocide amiright? heyoh!!) . And even if that were true, it obviously wouldn't explain Russia completely stomping the entire Georgian military infrastructure.
The thing is, with the separatist issue entering in, at first the whole thing reminded me a little bit of the Falklan Island war, I mean the South Ossetians don't identify as Georgian like in any way. But yeah, it basically ends there -- I mean it's not like they identify as Russian either. Even if the accusations against the Georgian forces were 100% true, that kind of systematic shitfucking don't make no kinda sense outside two things: 1. Gazprom interests (BORING!) and 2. the long-awaited resurgence in bombastic Russian political bitchiness (YESSS!!!!). They're totally steaming in there just because Georgia is inexplicably adored by the West and they want to piss us off. I'm getting warm and fuzzy already.
I love the resurgence in Russian nationalism. I love it so good. Rob and I could argue this into the ground, but nobody on Earth has made a better bad guy than Cold War Russia -- and that includes Nazis. I'm flying my nerd flag on this one (along with my "My Dad's a Historian!" flag, which is not to be confused with the
My Dad Owns a Dealership!" flag -- though I'll admit they're in the same ballpark) and cop to the fact that the Cold War is my second favorite historical period, right behind the Tudor dynasty. Cold War intrigue is the best intrigue.
Unfortunately, it's also the reason that all that "this aggression will not stand" bullshit from Bush and Cheney and now
Rice is so mind fuckingly counterproductive. At first, I figured they were probably just logging that shit for press before agreeing to the more lenient French referendum, but as the rhetoric has dragged on, I've become simultaneously excited about the spy secrets to come, and despondent about the flagrant shows of stupidity -- because the very act of publicly engaging in pissing contests with the Russians smacks so pungently of dumb. If there's one thing, and I mean
one simplistic, conceptual idea that could be gleaned about Russian political relations from the entire 45 year history of the cold war, it's that tough talking with Russia Does. Not. Work. Those effing Ruskies will bluster and threaten and respond to every challenge or attempt to strong arm with greater piss and vinegar and infuriated shows of power and rage, totally regardless of whether they can back it up. Which is actually kind of shitty for a lot of people when they can.
Anyway, I'm in no way celebrating or advocating any of the actual hurt that Russia's putting down in Georgia or anywhere and I take no joy in other people's suffering. But that said, it's a good time for some covert delicious history to germinate. In the meantime, I'm rereading Hunt for Red October. Again.